HT ChurchMag
Category Archives: Laughs
The Song of Solomon Illustrated Literally
When I was in college, one of my professors shared this picture with the class. It is a depiction of a “literal” rendering of what Song of Solomon (or Songs) 4 and 7 says. His point was that while we like to say we take the Bible “literally” it is not what we really mean. We have to be careful when we take literature “literally”. Words, metaphors, language, allusions are all literary devices meant to communicate a divine point (or rather, story) using a human instrument. Human devices will always fall short, but we need to seek out the intent of the author rather than the “literal” rendering.
This example is a no-brainer, right? So what do we do with the other word pictures scattered throughout the Scriptures that are not quite so simple to decode? For me, these applications chasten me to keep learning and interpreting and discerning what the Holy Spirit wants to teach us through the Word of God. Coming across this satirical graphic again reminds me to interpret and teach cautiously and humbly.
The Movie Was Hiding
We rented a movie for the girls at Red Box the other day and Sari had carried it inside. We didn’t watch the movie right away and when it came time to watch it, I couldn’t find the DVD. Misplaced items used to really bother me, but being married and having children has fixed that deficiency in my character!
So, I am calmly looking all over the house trying to locate this elusive DVD. Both of the girls are patiently waiting as I scurry about. Finally I find it on the bookshelf right in the living room in an obvious spot.
Sari says: “Dad, the movie was hiding from you!”
“Some Privacy, Please.”
The other day my daughter, Macie, made a rather interesting request. It was interesting because she is only 2 1/2 years-old.
I had went into their room to get a couple of things as we were headed out the door. If you are a parent, you know the routine: “Get your socks and shoes on!” “No, you can’t wear pajamas to the graduation party!” “Stop fighting!”
As I tried to cross the threshold into their room, Macie was a couple steps ahead of me and had turned to close the door. I stopped her and proceeded into the room as she said:
“Dad, I need some privacy, please!”
I did not see that one coming so soon!
A Simple Request: Please Wash Your Hands!
I was at Starbucks the other day and I saw this “instructional” sign in the bathroom and it made me think of something. Now, this might be a little gross, but stay with me for a second.
When I am in the men’s room, whether it is at church, the airport, restaurant, wherever, I can’t tell you how many men DO NOT wash their hands! I have no idea about the statistics with women not washing their hands seeing as how I don’t frequent ladies restrooms! But the men are terrible. I would say in my estimation, that 1 out of every 4 guys actually wash their hands after doing their business.
Now this is gross for any number of applications, but I’m thinking about one in particular. I am a pastor at a fairly large, medium sized church, and as such, I end up shaking many people’s hands over the course of a Sunday morning. If my statistical analysis holds true, then 3 out of every 4 men whose hands I shake haven’t had them sanitized! Gross, eh? Yeah, I know… tell me about it!
So, I have a simple request. It doesn’t take long and it might actually help you stave off the occasional sniffles: PLEASE WASH YOUR HANDS.
UPDATE:
Maybe it should say: “Everyone, please wash your hands before returning life.”
Worship of a Sandwich?
Yes. It is.
I like Jimmy Johns and all (that’s where this photo was taken), but it’s not worthy of worship!
What an iPad Was Made For!
You Hurt Your Foot?!
Does this ever happen to you?
Sari hurt her foot the other day. I don’t remember exactly how, but it seems like she is always running in to stuff!
Anyway, when she hurt her foot she screams bloody murder! Life is over! I know, I know… kids respond to pain in a variety of ways and my daughter is just expressing herself, right? Okay. I’m learning how this goes. There’s no manual for parenting. Anyway, we gave her some ice, elevated her foot, and laid her on the couch to recover.
Then Amanda and I turned our attention elsewhere. We moved on to other things. About ten minutes later we noticed Sari running around the living room with her sister, Macie, playing. I made a comment: “Sari, your foot must feel better?”
As soon as I said this, she fell to the ground and started to caress the foot again like she had temporarily forgot her injury and began to wimper.
Amanda and I started laughing at this sudden miracle, then Sari smiled, giggled, then went on her merry way.
Boy… they learn manipulation early!
Jeremy Mavis 